brandt’s blog: bend but don’t break

Horseshoe Lake, Shaker Heights, OH

i am stressed out

Stress and grief have an unfair control of me.  I understand the grief.  It’s sensible.  My stress is controllably uncontrollable.  It’s paradoxical in nature.  The worst-case scenario happened, perhaps validating these negative thoughts.  After Jacob’s death, little bothered me.  Tomorrow will be 17 months since Jacob’s life was stolen.  I have done little in the […]

don’t skip a workout with Ben; is happiness attainable?

If you’re friends with Ben, don’t miss a workout.  I mean it.  DON’T.  EVER.  MISS.  A.  WORKOUT.  Last night, I sent a text to Ben that I wouldn’t be making our 6AM workout.   He showed up to my office in full fire.  I didn’t know the dude had feelings.  I thought he just went to […]

i hate the dandelions

Naomi doesn’t typically mow the lawn so it was lovely to come home and see the lawn mowed on Friday.  Within 12 hours, the dandelions returned and brought friends.  Our front lawn is a sad mixture of grass, dandelions, weeds, and moss cover as a result of a large evergreen tree.  My neighbor to the […]

My upcoming personal audit; my quest for respite

My wife and I went to NYC a few years back to see Broadway Shows.  The following spring, while Ana was in Paris, we went with Jacob.  A month later he was diagnosed with cancer.  The last time we went anywhere before this was our honeymoon in 1998.  Since then, we’ve raised two kids, had […]

I want my field of dreams back

Escaping from life is what I did best.  I still look for respite in my own ways.  Playing and watching sports allowed my young brain to process life.  As a young kid in the 70’s, I didn’t get this cerebral.  I didn’t experience life and think, “I’m going to escape into a ‘Field of Dreams’ […]

Shower the people you love with love; it’s an action

Three years ago, yesterday, our lives were altered forever.  Jacob, after completing a run, wasn’t feeling great.  Allergy season was in full bloom which means swollen glands and heavy breathing.  He called his mom on Facetime who told him to go to the clinic.  A couple of days later, from what I remember, his glands […]

In search of a glimpse of me

My friend Jackie is living in Istanbul while she is getting treatment for cancer. Treatment that The Cleveland Clinic and its “every life deserves world-class care” attitude cannot give her. I am very critical of the health system in the US. Why shouldn’t I be? Hospitals answer to pharmaceutical and insurance companies. I drove down […]

I wish THEY told us the concept of time 

I wish the collective THEY would have told me the concept of time when I was a child. My life was simple. Unless I was “grounded”, I could walk outside at almost any given time and see a number of my friends. I never thought that someday I would mutter the words, “Let’s try and […]

so much is happening; what a couple of weeks

I haven’t blogged much lately.  It’s not for a lack of content.  I am spread thin.  To slow down and focus, here’s what’s up: Bariatric Surgery I have been working through a change in my diet, medical diagnostic testing, and exercise to prepare myself for surgery. I’ve realized that if I can do this, without […]

Ignorance was bliss

I grew up accepting things as fact that aren’t true. We all know the rhyme, “In Fourteen Hundred and Ninety-Two, Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.” Just repeating this aloud, harkens me to days of yore. Ignorance was bliss. We were taught about how Columbus was a hero who “discovered” an inhabited land. Just writing […]

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