real talk; keepin’ it 100

Chester Gym, Shaker Heights, OH

Real talk.  I’m keepin’ it 100.  Apart from this past Saturday, I’ve worked out every single day.  Many of these days have included an additional 20-25 minutes of walking, in the evening.  I am getting stronger.  My walking is improving.  My knees, while still not perfect, are the biggest beneficiary from my weight training.  I used to be an early riser.  Covid, then grief, robbed me of my joy of attacking the day.  I am now accountable to my workout coach (Ben).  Early rising and working out is becoming my norm.  The FEW days when I workout later in the day are tough.  I feel better when I attack the day.  So, why did I start this by saying, “real talk?”  I haven’t lost a pound in three weeks.  Not ONE. FUCKING. POUND.

Muscle weighs more than fat so that must be the reason.  Bullshit.  If I started a program with a low BMI and needed to tone, that would be one thing.  At 400+ pounds, the weight should be falling off.  It’s not.  Well, maybe it’s water weight.  Bullshit.  Water is the first thing that’s released when the body adds nutrients.  Maybe it’s.  Maybe it’s.  Maybe it’s. 

Weight loss depends on what’s going into the body.  I have kept a food log for 50+ days.  I’ve missed a few days lately.  More importantly, I’m not 100% honest.  Honesty, like other traits, cannot live in a vacuum.  Honesty is clear.  Honesty is black and white.  Honesty doesn’t compromise.  Never.  I am not being honest with myself.  My diet is supposed to be KETO based.  After much consultation with friends and experts, KETO is the plan.  So, here are the things I am doing wrong.

  • I eat Greek yogurt with blueberries, and I add honey.  Honey is a big no-no.  In my compromised mind, it’s not really a big deal.
  • Last night, with plenty of Keto friend food in the fridge, I opted for a spoonful of peanut butter as I rushed to the theater.  I didn’t plan and it bit me.  I ate a soft pretzel at the theatre.  I didn’t log that either.
    • Disclaimer.  Naomi and I saw Pretty Woman the Musical.  It was cute (the women in the cast are hot) but forgettable
  • I don’t eat ice cream at night but find myself eating 3-4 bananas, smothered in Nutella.  Not Keto!  These, since it’s late at night, aren’t added to my food log. 
  • I noshed on popcorn this weekend because I wasn’t feeling well.  No excuse.

The list can continue.  While I am not happy about the eating, I am equally resolute.  Progress is being made.  I am not the same person I was when Jacob died.  Great things are happening.  I must be honest.  Rationalizing with myself is a recipe for death.  It stops today.  Let’s get it!

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