As Told by Brandt

Last week I delved into key factors of cultivating happiness.  I took an honest assessment of these factors.  This isn’t easy.  Seeking comfort is my biggest downfall.  It’s the downfall of many of us.  Pushing myself and my boundaries is paramount.  I’ve made one major change the past three weeks.  I’ve been saying asking myself the following three words; “Am I comfortable?”  Don’t get me wrong, comfort is fine in moderation.  I’ve been abusing it for far too long.  Seeking is an interesting word.  I “seek” comfort.  It doesn’t need to be sought.  Comfort comes with ease.  How do we seek the uncomfortable?  How do we what we need and not what we want?

This is my quest.  I have one the greatest challenges yet to lose 225 pounds.  Before you ask, yes, I have investigated the following: Bariatric surgery, weight watchers, medical supervised weight loss, 12 step programs, Keto, Atkins, grapefruit diet (remember that shit?), Jenny Craig, Slimfast, etc. I’ve tried them all.  The $80,000,000,000+ weight loss has received plenty of my money and time.  It’s also received my hope. This time will be different.  Nope.

Everything I’ve tried has been either a quick fix or something unsustainable.  Seeking the uncomfortable is somehow working.  As much as I’m complimented for being open, this isn’t easy.  It’s not easy exposing my weaknesses.  I’m not embarrassed.  Spending the time to look in the mirror at my problem isn’t simple.  So, what am I doing today to be less comfortable?  Accountability.

Years ago, I walked my way around Cleveland.  I made a failed attempt at turning it profitable.  My story somehow found its way to the local news.  When the story aired, I will never forget the words that came from the anchor who was talking to the reporter who worked with me.  To paraphrase, he said that if there’s a lot of accountabilities, and if I failed, there would be eyes on me.  “What a dick” I remember saying.  I was absolutely pissed.  Six months and one huge resentment later, I had a blown-out knee, and back to square one.  That comment festered in my head.  I was shamed and angry.

Who was at fault for my result?  The comfort seeker in me says it was him.  It was a cheap shot at someone trying to change.  Years later, I see the issue.  It’s me.  It always has been.  Change is an inside job.  His comment came from an unfortunately common sentiment.  We have become a people of impending doom.  It sells.  It’s hard to sell <insert just about anything> when the message is; “You’re perfect as you are.”  This mentality is what I am trying to change in me. 

I am now very conscious of my actions and words.  This is the result of learning empathy.  I’m also particularly mindful of my spiritual conditioning.  Blocking negativity is a practice.  I have learned so much from positive people more than I have of those who live the doomed life.  This is not to say these people don’t have bad days.  Moreover, these people choose the solution.  My comfort seeking is typically rooted in the problem.

So, here’s a small plan:

• Exercise EVERY day, regardless of how I feel. 
  • I’ve been fighting a virus.  I’m still moving albeit slowly
• Practice Empathy <see previous blogs>
• Reading (Current Read, The Currency of Empathy, by Jackie Acho)
• Breathing
• Eating Well
  • I am NOT ready to start a new diet.  I am trying to eat proteins, veggies, and fruit. 
  • Asking myself, am I eating for comfort or necessity?  I am NOT perfect here yet
• Telling those I love that I do
• Staying away from news!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Music: I need it. Current listens are Gang Starr and Cypress Hill, followed by Spanish Jam Grateful Dead

NEXT BLOG: 2021 recap

Following Blog: My BIG GOALS!!!!